I'm Unemployed

I recently had to take one of my children to a medical facility where the typical patient information was taken. When my child was discharged, I was given his paperwork and sent home. A couple of days later, I picked up the paperwork, and discovered to my (shall we say it lightly), "irritation" that I was listed as "unemployed."

Now of all the absurd things that people say about me, I must say that I am rarely categorized as "unemployed." One reason for that is that most people have enough sense to know that any mother is employed and has never been unemployed since the first day she found out she was expecting her first child. I decided that the problem was not that I am "unemployed" but that the person who designated me as unemployed is more likely "unenlightened."

Just in case someone else mistakenly wants to classify me as unemployed, I thought I would clear the record a little. Currently I am teaching a full load of classes such as Algebra II, Geometry, Chemistry, Algebra 1/2, multiple grammar classes, and various history and civic courses such as Economics. I am also teaching Biology, Human Anatomy and Physiology and various science, spelling, reading, and Bible courses. I didn't mention that I'm making more meals a day than most people make in a week, potty training a 2 year old, potty training a 2 year old, and potty training a 2 year old. I'm also supervising three college level students in subjects ranging from missions and powerpoint presentations to criminal justice. Considering these three students are my own children, I'm also helping to manage homesickness, computer problems over the phone and the ins and outs of premarital boy/girl relationships. I am the unemployed business assistant for my husband, and the wife of a minister who travels to places most people haven't even heard about. Some how he gets in the car or the plane while I'm sitting by unemployed. Once in a while I accompany him with a whole bunch of children and travel across the country for weeks, but I'm unemployed while I'm doing it. I'm also unemployed while doing such mundane tasks as are usually reserved for those with the title of "janitor." Too bad I can't qualify for a job as taxi driver, dental hygienist, or an office receptionist.

Yes, folks, I'm unemployed. It doesn't count that I'm currently 99% through making a baby that will last forever, or reading bedtime Bible stories to children that will outlive those classifying me as "unemployed." It doesn't seem to matter that while almost no one will remember who it was that filled out that hospital registration form even one week later, I might affect the history of the world somehow--just through the lives of children.

Yes, I'm employed, but I'm getting ready to get unemployment compensation. Tonight I'm going to put a baby in bed and he's going to call out, "I wuv you" as I walk down the hall. I'm going to get a phone call from a teenage daughter who still likes to say she loves me even though it's not too cool for her age. I'm going to pat some little boys' heads at bedtime, and one of them is probably going to come out and ask if he can sit with me on the sofa for a few minutes when the house is nice and quiet. I'm going to go to bed and feel a soon-coming baby kicking and know that it's a life that will live forever. I'll get my unemployment compensation tonight, and it won't even matter that I'm unemployed anymore because I know the truth. I'm not unemployed, someone is just unenlightened. I feel pretty sure that if we were to trade places for a day (being generous here), I would be listed as "employed" next time around. For all the unemployed moms out there, don't worry--your not unemployed, you're underrated--and your unemployment compensation is coming soon!

P.S. I've included this photo to demonstrate that I'm unemployed, sitting on a sofa, being lazy (notice the pillow).