I Hate to Disappoint you... But You're Probably Going to Be Disappointed

There is an old song that was popular in its day called, “There’s no disappointment in Heaven.”  The idea is that all the difficulties that we experience in this life will not be in heaven including the disappointments that we have here on earth.

As I think about the idea that there is not disappointment in heaven, I also think, however, of various places in the Bible where God appears to be disappointed.  In Isaiah 5, we see where God is talking about how much he did for his vineyard.   He built a fence around the vineyard, got the rocks out of the soil, planted the best vine and tended it with the best care possible and expected that it would bring forth good grapes.  I think we could infer from the context, however, that when wild grapes appeared instead of good grapes, God was disappointed.  Now I know that theologically speaking it is debateable whether God could ever be disappointed because he knows all things ahead of time.  However, just humanly speaking, I think we could say that these verses indicate that God experienced disappointment.  He did everything possible to see this vine bring forth good grapes, and in the end, it didnt’.  In the end, all of his efforts appear to have been wasted with nothing to show for it.

The older I get, the more I see that life is often full of disappointments.  Things we hoped would go differently, don’t.  Causes or goals that we put so much effort into often bring forth less than what we had hoped for, and sometimes they bring forth just the opposite of what we hoped for.  In this case in Isaiah, God got just the opposite of what he worked toward.  He looked for delicious grapes that would be useful, and instead he got bitter, sour grapes that were absolutely unusable.  

Sometimes we do everything possible to see our goals accomplished and our efforts rewarded only to find that it appears to have been wasted.  I find it so interesting to remember the story of Adam and Eve.  If we honestly look at the story, there would be no logical reason that Adam would choose to sin.  After all, he had no sin around him to tempt him.  He walked and talked with God in the evenings.  We could say that he had the best of both friends and circumstances, yet he chose to sin in that perfect environment.    God did everything that He possibly could to see that Adam walked in His ways and did right, but ultimately those efforts were not rewarded.  Even in looking at the whole scheme of salvation offered to mankind, far more people reject God’s perfect offer of salvation than those who take him up on it.

Painful disappointments come into our lives and the tendency is to look inward and see what we did wrong or how we could have done better.  I think that introspection is fine.  I think it is good to discern the faults that we have and to work on eliminating them.  I think that often disappointments do come because of mistakes and shortcomings that we have in our lives.  However, I think it is also important to remember that even God in all His perfection experiences disappointment.  He puts effort and the best that he can in hopes of seeing the results that he wants, but sometimes it doesn’t happen.  Sometimes He gets just the opposite of what He was working toward.  Because God allows man to have a will, sometimes God is disappointed.

Perhaps this is why God is careful to remind us that while man tends to look on the outside at what he can see, God always looks at the heart.  He looks at the motives, and at the intentions.  God looks at our efforts and what we hoped for and holds us accountable based on these.  God doesn’t necessarily look at the end result and say that what we see is what we get.  No, God looks far deeper.  He looks at the effort we put into it.  He looks at the desires and hopes that we had for success.  He looks at the reasons why we did it in the first place and knows that the end doesn’t really matter.  I have a quote by Mother Teresa that is hanging right beside my bed as a reminder that I need quite often.  

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,

people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,

you will win some false friends and some true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,

people may cheat you.

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,

someone could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,

they may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,

people will often forget tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough.

Give the best you've got anyway.

You see,

in the final analysis it is between you and God;

it was never between you and them anyway.

We continue to experience disappointment when we allow ourselves to think that what we do is between ourselves and others.  Sometimes when things don’t happen as we hope, we despair.  However, we can experience hope when we realize that all we do is really between us and God.  All of our efforts and hopes and the motives that we have don’t really have to look good to others in the long run.  All that they have to look good for is God.  People will always misunderstand us and misjudge us, and sometimes that is our own fault.  However, in the long run, God looks at our heart and knows that it was ultimately between just us and Him and any disappointment we have has to be based on what eternity will reveal-- and we may not know that for a long time if ever.  

Do what you do today for God and hope for the best. If you reap disappointments, just remember that those disappointments are temporary.  Disappointments are often just the tip of the iceberg that we are seeing when God sees the whole iceberg of an eternity of results that please him.  In the final analysis, it is between you and God;  it was never between you and them anyway.

Got Flies...In Your Medicine?

Got flies...In your Medicine? There is an interesting verse in Ecclesiastes that talks about flies being found in medicine. “Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour.” Ecclesaistes 10:11. What does it mean to find flies in ointment or medicine?

Sometimes we really rely on medicine. As a matter of fact, I have medicine in my house that may save a life if given within just a few minutes of an incident. Maybe some of you carry a life- saving medicine with you in case your child comes across a serious allergen or suffers a seizure. That medicine is vitally important to you because without it, you or someone you love may die.

However, if you were to open the medicine and find it had flies in it right when you needed it most, you would have to make a quick decision...use it in spite of the flies and try to work around them, or throw it away and take your chances.

If we are truly Christians--that is, we are truly Christ-like and true followers of Him--we have the medicine that those around us need to live. We possess the ability to dispense the life-giving medicine of the Gospel that we also once received. However, sometimes when people come to us for that medicine in hopes that they will be freed from their own injuries and sickness, they realize in despair that the medicine has flies in it...nasty, sticking flies are in the medicine that they hoped would solve their problems.

What are the flies that ruin the medicine? Well, I’m sure that we could sit here all day, and think of the flies that turn people away from the very thing that would help them most. After all, flies don’t necessarily lessen the medicine’s potency, they just make it less desirable.

Recently, I was in a situation where I was trying to dispense medicine to a needy person. This person had big problems in their life, and I was trying to share the medicine that so radically changed my life. I felt sure that what I had to share could also change the life of the person that had come to me. I knew that the problems that this person was experiencing could be eliminated if they were just to take the medicine. I knew that God had an answer for them if they would just trust in Him and walk in His ways.

Imagine my shock, however, when I realized that my patient wasn’t interested in the medicine. They were not interested in the medicine because when they got there to take it, they saw a bunch of floating flies in the medicine, and it turned them off. The painful thing about it was that they never were opposed to taking the medicine, they just couldn’t get past the flies floating on the top.

The flies floating on the top of the medicine of the Gospel that we have to offer to others is when we fail to line up to the stringent requirements that are required of those who dispense medicine. Especially when we have petty squabbles with others who are also prescribing medicine, it makes those flies float to the surface and turn away the patients who would have taken it.

While I was trying to convince my patient to take the medicine, I realized that it wasn’t going to happen simply because of the sorry example of others who had also tried to dispense. This Christian had a squabble with that one and had never made up. Two Christians engaged in struggles of personal power between families and careers and long forgotten sources for the conflict had become the flies floating on the surface of the medicine that I was trying to offer. My patient didn’t want anything to do with it.

Sure, I could point out that true Christians don’t act that way. True Christians always use 100% of their effort to try to get along with those around them. True Christians can shake the hand of anyone in the church and truly mean it. True Christians can invite anyone into their home and have an enjoyable evening. Sure, there will always be personality conflicts and those we prefer not to be around too long, but true Christians don’t hold on to hurts and grievances. True Christians go to others and try to work things out instead of holding out grudges that end up lasting for years. True Christians don’t pass on slights to their children so that the younger generation carries on their own little power struggles. True Christians can look others in the eye and say, “I am sorry, and will you please forgive me?” As those that are around me know, because I have to say it fairly often... true Christians may often say, “I was wrong, and I am so sorry.” They may often have to say, “I spoke too quickly or my words were insensitive.” They also can say, “I know we have differences, but is there any way possible that we could work it out.” True Christians can sit beside anyone on a church pew and share a hymnal, work together on a project, and clap when the other person’s child does better than their own. True Christians carry no sense of competition with another person or their family. They concentrate on perfecting their own weaknesses and ignoring the weaknesses of others. True Christians are glad when someone else’s successes (or the successes of their children) are better than their own, and they sincerely congratulate them, and teach their children to do so also. In short, true Christians truly act like Jesus. When we fail to measure up to these requirements for those who dispense God’s pure medicine, we become flies in the ointment and instead of offering life, it stinks!

My prayer is that I will not only be one that can dispense God’s life giving medicine without turning people away, but that the way I live will not bring flies to the surface. I pray that when I mess up, I will have the backbone and grace to admit it and do anything possible to correct the situation. God expects a lot from those of us who want to share His life giving solutions with others. Let’s make sure that our medicine has the sweet smell of Jesus so people will be eager to take our medicine!

The Power of Influence--Actions Speak Louder than Words!

The power of influence...a mighty force that we have every day but so often fail to use! We can influence people forever by simply taking the time to invest in their lives whether it be through a kind word, a thoughtful act, or a note or email sent at just the right time.

When we think of those who have greatly influenced our lives, we often look at the great scope of what they did while failing to remember that usually it was just an accumulation of little things-- times that they expressed interest in our lives or passed on a form of affirmation or encouragement.

Two great people in my life have recently passed on and their influence has been brought sharply back into focus--G.R. French and Dr. Connie Palm. Dr. Palm was one of the greatest teachers that I ever had, but while her teaching continues to follow me, and I very frequently put into practice the things that she taught me, what has continued to impact my life even more were the words and actions that I remember to this day almost 25 years later. I remember the times that she stepped outside of her educational role as a teacher and took an interest in my personal life, the struggles I was facing, and encouraging me to become all that God wanted me to be.

G.R. French on the other hand, I also remember for those great principles and life lessons that he taught us. When it comes to seeing the needs of the world around us, I know of few people who taught me more of a passion for reaching people than he did simply by his passion for people that was contagious.

However, even though these things that he passed on were a major influence in my life, what influenced me even more was the time that he took to spend with us and invest in our personal lives. He was one of the busiest people that I knew at the time, yet he took weeks to invite us into his office and talk with us, counsel us, and laugh and pray with us. Sometimes in his busy schedule we were invited to his home or to be involved in some project that he was working on. It was like as he went through life, he just naturally included those around him without even having to think about it. How many times after church was dismissed did I see him get up from his seat, begin walking around and eventually head our way and just simply ask, “How are things going?” His life showed a genuine interest in others, and because we knew this great man was genuinely interested in us, he influenced us to follow the life he was living.

Perhaps we often try to influence those around us through words and coerce them into following us when simple actions would attract far better. Not only that but perhaps remembering that people remember actions better than words and remember life lessons taught through deeds of example rather than sermons of thoughts. I remember two examples from G.R. French’s life that taught me far more by seeing him teach rather than hearing him teach.

Very often when he would be walking across campus, he would bend over and pick up some piece of litter and later dispose of it. While he walked to one of the highest offices around, he would simply live a life of humility all the way there. Another example that he taught me was how to express genuine interest in other people. So often we are interested in the lives of others, but we fail to demonstrate it because we do not know how. Rather than simply ending a conversation after a simple exchange of pleasantries and how are you doing?, he would ask a few questions. We always knew that he was busy and wasn’t likely to stay around long, but he always managed to ask a few questions that demonstrated that he was keeping up with our lives. “How are your parents doing?” “What’s new in your job or ministry now?” I remember once after we had moved away from Hobe Sound, we came back to visit and got rooms in one of the building that had long since needed to be remodeled. We had been there several days when he saw us on the campus. In his typical way, he asked a few questions about our lives, and then asked where we were staying. When we told him, he immediately said, “O, you can’t stay there! That place needs fixed up better before you should stay there.” He immediately insisted that we move all our things and children to his home for the remainder of our time there. He would not accept no for an answer, and before we knew it, we were on our way to his home for the remainder of our time there.

The power of influence...so often we think it is in sermons or lectures or lessons that we have to teach when all the while it is often in simple everyday gestures and actions that simply express an interest in the lives of others around us. It would do each one of us a lot of good to remember that people become like those they admire rather than those who simply attempt to change through speaking, and live lives that reflect that principle. Actions do speak louder than words.