God is Helping Me

Thank you so much to each one of you that send kind emails, cards, prayers and even great food our way in this last week. Thanks to the friends who live close by who stopped by to talk and cry with me and showed themselves to be true friends.

During the past week, I have experienced a lot of struggles as I have worked through the loss of our baby. Although I never questioned why God allowed this to happen, I still had questions and things that I did not understand. Since last week, I had been getting very little sleep and my days were not much happier. I know it is normal to grieve over losses in our lives, but I was looking for some answers from God and wasn't hearing much from Him although I knew He was there.

Yesterday morning I was able to spend some time by myself in the quietness of the morning, so I began to talk to God about all the things that were bothering me and things I did not understand. As the Psalmist says, I "poured out my heart before God." When I finished, I decided to read one of the Psalms as I felt perhaps I could find some answers there. I took my Bible and opened it instead to a passage of Scripture that talks about the holiness of God.

As I began to read about the holiness of God and about how everything He does is always righteous, pure and holy, God began to touch my heart in a way that I can only best illustrate by relating what happened at the hospital just a few days ago.

I have always been a private person when it comes to displaying emotions in public--especially among strangers. However, after all the stress of having found out that our baby had died, I found myself crying in front of hospital staff, in the waiting room and in other public places where I normally would have been able to maintain my composure. The day before my surgery, I had to go for pre operation procedures so I was at the hospital for a while in various offices. I'm sure my face was a mess and I was having a hard time just going through with everything. I got to the lab at the end of my time there and by then I had been crying for a while.

The lab technician didn't say much but she looked at my already bruised arm and proceeded to jab it again and draw even more blood. When she was finished, though, she did something that no one had ever done even though I have had blood drawn many, many times.

As she finished, instead a sticking a little bandaid on it, she began to carefully wrap and bandage my arm, but as she did it, she not only bandaged it by carefully wrapping it, but she patted my arm and and squeezed it and communicated to me without saying a word that she didn't know my difficulty, but that she cared. In the quietness of that room, she took the time to care without saying a word.

Back to the passage about the holiness of God...
As I quietly thought on the holiness of God and about how God is different from the other "gods" we often hear about, I realized in a new way that God is a holy God and He does nothing out of spite, or revenge, or hatred, or just to take advantage of us. He does everything that He does out of His goodness, His righteousness, and His holiness. His holiness only allows Him to act righteously toward us, and this began to comfort my heart.

As I sat in the quietness of the morning and began to think about these things, God began to "bind up the brokenhearted" as the nurse in the lab bandaged up my arm. There wasn't a lot said between me and God, but I felt Him bandaging up my heart-- stopping to pat it and pour some "Balm of Gilead" in it and take His time to communicate that He cared. When He got finished, I was able to walk into the day having experienced a wonderful office call with the Great Physician.

Thanks again to all of you who have prayed for me and sent emails from all around the world. Between this blog and facebook, I have received a steady stream of thoughtful comments from those close to home as well as from thousands of miles away. I never knew there were so many people who cared!

Blessings on your day! God is always good.

What is it like to touch the face of God?

Tonight we found out that the baby we were eagerly waiting to hold has already "slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God." Our loss is temporary, but our child's gain is forever. While we are sad, how can I be sorry when our child is perfectly happy and whole with Jesus tonight? I have so much to be thankful for, that while I am sad, I am glad that God made a way for us to meet in heaven. I like the words of the song, "Blessed be your Name... You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the Lord."

Our Trip to Europe in Review

The newspaper recently wrote an article about our time in Europe. If you are interested in reading it, here it is. Enjoy reading about a miracle trip!

Haiti

Most of us have been deeply touched by the needs of Haiti in this past week as we have seen the pictures of the devastation that has come upon their land. For those of you who are looking for a Christian organization who will minister in the name of Jesus, you may want to consider this mission which is directed by a good friend of our family.

This organization has been in Haiti for years and already has an established medical clinic, Christian day school, church, and orphanage. Within hours of the earthquake, they were headed for the streets of Port au Prince to minister to the needy there. For years they have been shipping tons of medical supplies, office equipment, and basic supplies to help the people of Haiti through their mission there.

While there are numerous organizations to give to, you may want to consider giving to an organization that has been there for years, and will be there for a long time to come and will be sharing the love of Jesus to these people who cannot be healed by medicine alone. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these..." Matthew 25:40

God Works on Refrigerators

One of the greatest joys in trusting God to provide our needs is actually getting to see Him do it. Recently, we got to see the Lord take care of our refrigerator.

This year at Christmas, we had a very busy household--much busier than usual for us--with lots of people coming and going. We were looking forward to enjoying several meals with extended family and having large groups in our home. The night before our first guest was to arrive, I was up late working and getting ready when I noticed that our refrigerator had stopped cooling. Not only was this really inconvenient because it was well after midnight, but also because we had two big meals planned for the next day for friends and family. I had a large amount of food in my refrigerator just waiting for the next day.

I must say that I was frustrated, because not only was I very tired by this time of day, but I didn't want to have to go find a refrigerator on Christmas Eve and still have to prepare two meals. It was cold outside, so I knew I could just put things there, but that would be a lot of work which I really didn't want at the time. I just stopped, and partly out of exhaustion, and partly out of frustration, I just prayed to the Lord and asked Him if He couldn't just make the refrigerator work just until the holidays were over. With the faith that I had, I just left the refrigerator and kept working awhile and came back. I was delighted when I came back right before I was ready for bed and saw that the thermometer showed the refrigerator to be very cold--almost too cold. The end of the story is that the refrigerator worked wonderfully through the next few days and through the holidays. Our last guest was preparing to leave, when I noticed the refrigerator was getting warm again.

I mentioned this story to someone in my family, and they said, "Why didn't you just ask the Lord to fix it?" I don't know why I didn't, but I am glad that He did what I asked--He fixed it for the holidays.

The end of the story came tonight right before Lowe's Home Improvement closed for the evening. We had been watching for a good deal on a refrigerator while we used a smaller one to get us by until we could find one large enough for our family. Tonight, Rick went to Lowe's to buy other things when he decided to ask the man back in appliances if they had any damaged appliances that were marked down. Rick told him what we were looking for, and the man said they had one in the back. Now, keep in mind that we were not wanting to spend anywhere near full price for a refrigerator that would suit our family size. We were looking at used options or praying that we could find a blemished one.

He took Rick back and showed him a refrigerator that was a great refrigerator--much better than we have ever had before, but the original price was $1700. They had marked it down to $1500 for some marks on the front, which was a nice discount, but still way more than we wanted to pay. Rick began talking to the man and he said that he would sell it to him for $900. Rick said, "Well, I tell you what, if you will take $800, I will buy it tonight." He agreed, and we walked out of the store with an amazing deal and a brand new refrigerator (with a little scratch on the door). We also came out of it with another story of God's provision for our family! What a blessing we would have missed by just walking in, handing over a credit card, and buying a refrigerator big enough to meet our family's needs. God provides for those who choose to place their trust in Him!

My Christmas Present to my Husband

This was one of my Christmas gifts to Rick this year. I had been wanting to purchase vinyl word art for our home, but when I saw the price, I decided against it. However, after researching online, I was able to make this word art for about $1, and I think it turned out fine--even if I say so myself! If you are interested in how to do it, visit this link that I made. If you try it, send me a photo. I'd would love to see your work!

Help Identify this Artwork

While we were in Northern Italy this past summer, we stayed at a Christian retreat center where I saw this artwork. It really got my attention, and I have been trying to identify the artist. This is a picture of unbelievers drowning while Christians continue their business or amusements without noticing the predicament of those around them. Does anyone know anything about this piece?